Well my goal was to be blogging at least weekly to have some consistency for our readers but I’ve been slacking. I have no excuse. I’ve thought about writing a blog about dependence/trust in God a few times over the past few weeks but blown it off. So I’ll give you the readers digest version here.
When I applied for the World Race, I did it for application practice, I never once actually thought about leaving for a year and what that would mean. When I got accepted, I had to finally consider that and was put in a place of dependence on the Lord to tell me what to do, when, where and how to do it. It was a big deal for me to think about quitting my job, selling my house, getting rid of my pets, leaving my family/friends, etc. That was my first big lesson in dependence on the Lord. My second was while on the race, pretty much all year long I was in a place of dependence for one reason or another and God got me through the year.
As Bo and I have been preparing for our wedding, honeymoon and new life together after we get married, we talked a lot about what we wanted from our marriage. We want a home where we can be comfortable spending time together and we want time together. We’ve never lived together so we’re really looking forward to having real time together, not just weekend time like we normally get now. We decided I would work part time to supplement his income so I could also be home taking care of the house and him as my new husband. After a few months of searching, we found a house we could afford on his salary and bought it. It’s a new construction home so it’s not built yet and closing is not expected until mid September (though i’m assuming it will be more like Oct 1)…
We were so excited, the wedding plans are going great, the honeymoon is almost paid off, I’ve been looking for part time jobs (while i’m working part time from home), he got a new job that he loves, we got our loan approved and it’s just on hold for closing time. He started his new job 2 1/2 weeks ago and has enjoyed every minute of it and is learning a lot. Then he got paid on Friday and there was a discrepancy. Come to find out, him and his boss were talking about 2 different figures when confirming his wages and what Bo was talking about as an hourly rate, his boss heard as a yearly rate and that’s what he paid him at. It’s 50% less than what we budgeted and got our loan on and it’s about 1/2 the amount of money he was making at his last job. How this big of a miscommunication occurred, we have no idea but it did and we have to deal with it. We quickly came to terms with reality that there is a really good chance we will lose our house now and the large sum of non refundable money we put down on it but we’re ok with that. It sucks of course, but we’ll get through it.
For Bo, he believes this is a lesson of dependence on the Lord. He feels that situations like this where you basically get completely knocked completely off track unexpectedly is a lesson of learning to be dependent on God. I’ve already learned that lesson, many times over… why do I have to learn this one again? For me, it’s a lesson on walking with God. Bo and I were doing everything on our own, HE got a job, WE got a house, WE are getting married, etc, and we hadn’t been giving God the glory for providing the job, the house, the relationship. We recognized this a while back and even joined a new bible study group to try to pull God back into our relationship and we love our new bible study group, but all it did for us was add a Wednesday night service into our week in addition to our Sunday morning services we attend. It didn’t refocus our relationship on God, we weren’t really spending that much more time in the Word and in prayer like we had hoped, we just added another service to our week.
We finally realized that an additional “service” added into the week won’t bring us closer to God and one another, only we can do that intentionally if we make the daily effort. So while Bo is learning his lesson of dependence on God, I am learning my lesson about walking daily with God, we’re both growing in our relationships with the Lord and with each other and it’s great. We’re facing losing our house that’s going to start being built probably on Monday and losing a substantial amount of money but we realize that’s life. Life happens. What matters is how we respond to it and get THROUGH it. We have to go through this, we can’t go around it, we can’t just skip it or ignore it, we have to deal with it and we’re doing well.
I can’t say that I did well initially… I was standing in Costco at the checkout line crying like a blubbering idiot on my phone to a friend who was trying to enjoy the Disneyland experience on her family vacation. I doubt she even heard anything that i said other than the snotty sniffing, heavy breathing occasional yelling about how upset I was that this happened. Ha. There’s another lesson for me, my initial reactions. Ugh.
Anyways, Bo and I are desperately seeking jobs, we’re hoping he can get a new job immediately making at least what he made at his previous job (a contract position that expired so he can’t go back) and I can find a part time job that pays decent and we may have the opportunity to save our house and our money. We don’t want to lose the house or our money, but it’s not the end of our world if we do. We are still getting married, we will still be starting a new life together and following where God leads us whether it’s in our new house or in an apartment.
I interviewed for a new job (full time) on Monday and should hear back next week. Bo is getting a few interviews set up hopefully for next week. I would love to get this job, it’s SUPER close to home, it’s Mon-Fri 8:30am-5:00pm with city benefits and I could do it well. The pay isn’t great, but I wouldn’t be spending really any money on gas/travel, i could leave at 8:25am and be home at 5:05pm and still have time with Bo (assuming he’ll be working days too) and have good medical benefits for the both of us. I think it would be great for us, we’ll see if God wants me to have this one though.
In other news, my dad is doing great! Cancer free and he had his first epidural cortisone injection on Friday which seems to be working great and relieved a lot of his pain. If it continues to work it may prevent him from having to have another surgery so we’re praying for that.
Mom is doing well also, she’s at home with Chloe now who is also doing great! I’ve been practicing with her to be the flower girl, she has her little basket filled with flower petals and she’s great at throwing them everywhere but not so great at walking at the same time. I’m assuming she’ll just end up running down the aisle to either Bo or her mom and not throwing anything but she’ll be so cute it will be funny anyways.
Ok back to work! Much love to you all!
Bo and Kari
4 Replies to “What’s going on…”
Sounds as if God is really testing your faith, but remember this: As to your relationship with God, you can look at it two ways, either…As a stumbling block to hinder or as a stepping stone to grow closer to Him.
Sorry to hear about the challenges that you and Bo are facing right now. I know that it must be really hard. I’ll pray for you that things work out. You know that they will work out in th end. I always have faith in that, even when I’m in the middle of a personal crisis and can’t figure out which step to take first. One thing to consider – which may or may not be very popular – is not so much that you leave everything up to God. I truly believe that God has given us the potential and ability to do many things, but we must learn how to use that potential to make things work. You and Bo are doing that, and you deserve the credit for that. God is there as the Spirit guiding you through these times and helping you to make use of your skills. So, don’t lose sight of that and be proud of what you’ve accomplished thus far. You’ll figure this out to and then things will go along OK again for awhile, and then something else will always come along and upset the apple cart. That’s just life. Sometimes it really sucks and I wish it weren’t so, but there it is.
It’s great to hear what you are up to. I seriously miss you!!! I’m excited for what’s happening in your life! You are amazing!
Umm, I don’t know what I did with my rsvp for the wedding…but I booked a ticket to Seattle this morning for July 18th. See you two next month!!